Making Moral Choices: Part 4

Have you heard the story about the elderly man and the young man who went to the river? And when they got to the river, the young man saw babies who had been thrown into the river. So the young man charges into the river, starts trying to save the babies in the river. And when he's coming out with six babies, he sees the older man walking upstream. And he's upset, and he's asking the older man, Why are you leaving? We have these babies to save.

going upstream to stop whoever is throwing the babies in the river. That's what we've been trying to do the last few weeks, to go upstream to talk about how can we make moral decisions in an immoral world and avoid creating all these problems downstream, the babies downstream. And today we hopefully will conclude this series. You should have three handouts. or today there was actually only one, but you got the cream-colored sheet for today.

If you didn't get one handout last week, there was a handout for last week plus a little diagram. But the handout for today is the little cream-colored sheet. So our question has been, what should I do making moral decisions in an immoral world? Let me review quickly how we got to where we are. I asked the question, how do I make moral decisions in an immoral world, and I gave you ten principles.

We've covered these ten principles. I list them there on the wall so you can see them again. But in the course of reviewing those principles, I made the point that when we live by the book, item C, the book really addresses so many areas of our lives, areas it addresses and some folks said to me well could you help us by maybe doing an overview at least of some of the major principles by which we are to live as Christians that's a pretty tall order but what we have been trying to do is to think about some of the specific principles by which we should live if we're going to live by the book and I've done this by thinking about relationships principles for the relationships that we have in life and if you can see this god is at the center spouse comes next then children then others then self and then lastly i think about work and money and stuff and i put that in different colors because that's not directly relational necessarily but the point i made as we began is what happens in our culture so often is we get the relationships out of order. Self comes first, or we put children before spouse, or we put self before others. Biblical living, living by the book, means we keep the relationships in the order that they are to be. We've already covered several of these relationships.

And as I talked about the relationships, I made this point. Thoughts produce actions which produce habits and what we want to do is to think right so that we will act rightly and then we will develop good habits if you have bad habits you need to change your actions but that usually means you got to change your pattern of thinking so we're going at all these issues related to both our thoughts and actions and how they flesh out in life as we think about relationships the

God, to spouse, to children, and to others, I asked the question, what is the preeminent virtue for us as Christians in relation to God and other people? The answer was biblical love. That is the preeminent virtue in all those relationships. And we began to look at those relationships, and last week we talked about our relationship to God, our relationship to spouse, and our relationship to our children. Today, we move to relationships with others, and that's where we're going to begin today.

That is actually part of last week's handout. The handout for today is going to pick up with the next relationship. So if you don't have last week's handout with you, there's some extra copies on the back table if you want to go back and get some. Rick Bright, who needs a handout from last week? How about two or three of you helping pass those out real quick,

Hold your hand up and bow your head and pray at the same time here we go Lord we thank you again that we have the opportunity to gather as believers Freely openly and to discuss things of the faith I pray for this class I pray for each individual I pray for myself that we will be people who love you so much That we are willing to spend the time to understand how you want us to live and then I pray that we will love you so much that we will live for you first before anyone else, before ourselves and that we will love you more than life itself. Help us to be all that you want us to be for it is in Christ's name we pray and for his sake, amen. Now let me make one other point here that my wife Louise said I needed to make. So I'm going to make it. The principles I am giving you while they are principles by which I try to live personally principles invented by David Rogers. The principles that I am giving you here are, I believe, I submit to you, biblical principles. They are God's plan for how we should live. Now I'm going to give illustrations and I'm going to give examples and sometimes maybe my illustrations or my examples aren't what they should be, but the principles that I'm going to give you are God's principles.

so if you're committed to our lord if he is first in your life i submit to you these are principles that are really not optional it's not that we get to step back and say oh do i want to do that or not want to do that or do i think that's good this is how we live our christian lives what's the picture what am i holding over my head it's a little one but it says holy bible on it we live under the book not over the book and i i was speaking to the church uh recently in another church and i really had to spend a lot of time persuading people who said they were Christians that they live like they should live their lives like this under the book this is not an option for us we live under the authority of God's word

so often I fear in churches today people don't start with that premise in their thinking they're going to say well you tell me the principle of God's word and then I'll decide if I think it's best or not. I'm not, that's not, I'm not arguing today that, that about, I'm not going to try to persuade you that you ought to live under the authority of God's word. I'm just saying that's the way it is, that's the way it should be, and it's a whole other course to talk about why we should live under the authorities of God's word, but it is God's word, and we should live under the authority of it i'm just making that that blanket statement so these are not optional principles here's our relationships to others parents i'm going to hit these quickly we are to honor our parents honor your father and mother as children before we are adults we are obligated to obey our parents but at all times even once we're adults and the relationship is changed submit once we become adults, we're no longer under the admonition that we have to obey parents. But we are always under the admonition to honor them, to respect them, to care for them,

to help them when they need help.

As parents age, often they need more of our help. But we help them because we honor them. and we're respectful toward them. A second relationship is brothers and sisters in Christ. How do we relate to brothers and sisters in Christ?

That's what all the one another's of scripture are about, I believe. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are to honor one another. We are to encourage one another. We are to serve one another. We are to care for one another.

We are to love one another. family, we take care of each other. When we're hurting, we get help. When we fall, there's somebody there to pick us up. When we stumble, somebody will be there to catch us. In this family, we never shoot our wounded. We pick them up. We love them. We care for them. No matter what happens no matter what they do sometimes the stumbling is a sinful stumbling we still reach out to brothers and sisters in christ even when they commit sin when they're ill or sick you know one of the great attractions of the christian faith in the early centuries was that people who were on the margins of society knew that if they joined this family called the christian family they would be safe they would be cared for if they needed food they If they needed clothes, they got it.

If they didn't have a home, they found one. They'd go live with somebody else. If they needed money, somebody who had money would sell whatever they needed to to give money to people in need. The church of Jesus Christ ought to look different than it often does. We're so absorbed with ourselves, we forget about the one another.

Others come first.

In my schematic, self comes after God, spouse, children, and others. comes after all the other relationships.

I get carried away. Here are some principles we need to think about in our relationship to others. The principle of the neighbor. Love your neighbor as yourself. That command is not, it is not, it is not a command to love yourself.

That is to turn that command on its head.

Love of self in scriptures is not a good thing. In the last days, men will be lovers of self. What that passage is teaching is that the love we so quickly direct to ourselves needs to be redirected. We need to direct it at others. Scripture teaches self-esteem.

We're fearfully and wonderfully made. But this self-centeredness that we have needs to be directed and we need to love others first. The principle of the Good Samaritan. You remember the story of the Good Samaritan? One thing people sometimes miss in the story because it's not explicitly stated, you remember there was a man who was injured on the road, and the religious people just walked by, and then the Samaritan shows up and takes care of the injured person.

What race or nationality was the injured person?

The text doesn't say explicitly, but it's implied I think in the story. What race or nationality was the injured person? Jewish. I think that's a clear implication from the story. Do you know the relationship between the Jews and the Samaritans? Not good. Not good. The Jews in fact didn't think much of the Samaritans.

They were sort of the half-breeds and so here you have the half-breed who stops to care for someone

would not think much of him. He cares for somebody who would be the one who would often ostracize him or speak down to him. The point is that no matter their race, their color, no matter their nationality or their language, no matter whether they're rich or poor, educated, uneducated, we are to be helping care for The golden rule. What a great principle for relationships with others. Everybody know the golden rule?

Taught our children, didn't we? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In other words, treat others the way you would like to be treated by them. We need to start over with the basics, folks. It's not always true, but a lot of what we need to know we learned in kindergarten.

to do is have a refresher course when we get to be adults. In every situation it's a great principle. Stop and say if I was in his shoes or if I were in her shoes what would I want them to do for me? How would I want them to relate to me? How would I want other people to help me?

and once you figure that out then go do it treat others the way you want to be treated last principle is the principle of peace the apostle paul teaches us that in so far as possible so long as we're not having to violate the principles of our faith in so far as possible we are to live at peace with all people

so when you're dealing with other people what what kind of relationship do you want to have with them you want to have a peaceful relationship so what does that mean that means you don't argue with them over stuff that doesn't matter that means if it's inconsequential you'll let it go that means you don't have to always have your way

and that means i don't always have to have my way that means we don't have to Lord it over other people, you know. If it doesn't matter, then don't act like it does. The relationship is more important than the inconsequential issue. Do you follow me? Now, I'm not talking about matters that are moral principles.

We don't surrender our moral principles or our loyalty to God. But, you know, so much of the stuff we get in bad relationships with people about doesn't matter one whit in the long run. Let it go. Get over it. It doesn't matter.

Peace is more important.

The lost, the poor, the sick, the prisoners, the widows, the orphans, the disadvantaged. We are first to care for people who are lost by telling them about the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you love somebody, you want them to know Jesus Christ, who is the only way of salvation.

this other church I spoke at recently, I spent a whole bunch of time talking about that one point

because I fear not all were persuaded that was the truth.

But folks, if all we do is preach the gospel at people and we don't reach down to where they're hurting and help them, our words ring so hollow. And the scriptures over and over and over and over and over again urge us to care about people's suffering, particularly those who are on the margins of the society. We ought to care about the poor. And churches who don't really have some significant percentage of their resources devoted to caring for the poor, I submit to you, are in biblical imbalance. They're biblically out of balance.

one day God's going to ask us, right? Did you feed the naked, clothe the naked, feed the poor? Usually naked people need food too.

Did you go visit them in prison?

I will tell you, my general practice, I don't always do it. My general practice, if somebody on the street asks me for money, you know what my general practice is? I give them money. Now there'll be some times I will sense that for whatever reason I shouldn't do that. But my bias, my prejudice is to give them money and then let God take care of what happens with it.

You know why? When I get to heaven, I want God to know I was giving my stuff to help the poor. I would, I know some of you have the bias the other way. Probably. Don't give it to them.

Oh, you know, they'll probably go use it for something they shouldn't.

I'm going to submit to you, God isn't going to get on to you because that person misuses what you gave them. God's going to get on to you because you didn't give. The bias, the prejudice, should be towards generosity towards the poor. Pure and undefiled religions take care of widows and orphans.

I like sending shoeboxes to children all over the world. There are a lot of orphans getting shoeboxes.

I like to go to Ethiopia, and I like to try to help women who either husbands are not around because they deserted them or who are widows. Why? That's pure and undefiled religion. You know, churches kind of tend to go in one direction or the other. Those that want to just talk evangelism and really kind of frown on those who spend their time feeding people food and clothing them.

And then there are others that go the other direction who just want to feed people, clothe people, and kind of frown on those who only talk about the gospel. It's not either or, it's both and. It's both and. I submit in your giving each year, you ought to be sure you're giving, not only for evangelism, but you ought to be giving to places where money is being used to help the disadvantaged.

I ask questions about First Baptist budget.

Where are we helping the poor?

Enemies.

Anybody have enemies?

What do you do for your enemies? You love them and you pray for them.

The scriptures teach us.

developing good relations with people means we have to learn to deal with conflict. The last point I'm going to make in the relationship with others is dealing with conflict.

One of the basic principles of conflict resolution is the principle of forgiveness.

We need to be a forgiving people.

us we need to be willing to say I forgive the goal in conflict when there is conflict is resolution of the conflict so you have to think through how can I most advantageously bring about resolution of the relationship but an attitude of forgiveness is important an attitude that says I'm not going to keep a record of wrongs i'm gonna i'm gonna go burn up the list that i've been keeping for years about every little thing this person has done to injure me and it seems to kind of build on itself doesn't it once you get out of kind of quacking a relationship with someone suddenly every little slight becomes magnified and the list just seems to grow and grow some point folks and it's incumbent upon us, I think, as Christians to act first. Go burn the list. Forget about it. Don't let wounds fester. If there is difficulty in the relationship, the scriptures encourage us, I think, to try to deal with it. Don't let it fester. It usually doesn't get better. It usually hardens.

The wound hardens.

I submit that you should deal with conflict privately, typically. one-on-one,

but sometimes maybe we need to involve some godly assistance. If there's difficulty in resolving the relationship, maybe we need sort of an arbitrator to help us.

I've just been impressed more and more of how fragile relationships are. There are so many people who are at odds. Sometimes it's a husband and wife. Sometimes it's a parent with a child. in the body of Christ we get so at odds so quickly.

Doesn't take but a movie screen.

Right? Am I right? Huh?

Why in the world would we get at odds over a movie screen? Huh?

Talk about self. There are two. In our relationship with others, the primary virtue is love. In our relationship to self, I submit there are two primary virtues. It's not love in one of them.

In fact, I think just the opposite. The first virtue is humility. The second is holiness.

And I'm going to talk about each of those.

Humility. Humility.

St. Augustine said that in religion In our relationship to ourselves Humility is the first thing In other words it's the most important thing We are not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought We're to have

An honest evaluation of who we are But we're not to think of ourselves as better than others treat others as better than ourselves. The scripture says, treat them as better than yourself. The reality is that sometimes we are smarter, better at a certain task than others, but we never, ever treat others as if they are inferior. We always treat them as better. In other words, we honor them first over ourselves.

We give them first place over ourselves. When there's a good seat, we give it to somebody else rather than taking it for ourselves. Just listen to some of these scriptures. I'm just going to read a few. I've given you a lot.

The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this, they will not go unpunished.

Before his downfall, a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.

All of you clothe yourselves with humility, Peter says, with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, who being in very nature God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in human appearance, he humbled himself. He humbled himself. He humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on the cross. We're supposed to be like Jesus.

We're supposed to be humble. I loved one quote by an anonymous writer. He said, many would be scantily clad if clothed in their humility. Many would be scantily clad if clothed in their humility.

Pride is like lard on a pig. Our hearts so easily add that pride and it just becomes like a lard on a pig.

so holiness is the second characteristic holiness what does it mean holy to be holy means we are in our relationships to god consecrated or dedicated to him and that we are separated from sin so to be holy is to be consecrated to god and to be separated from sin and i'm going to talk about holiness in terms of several aspects of ourselves first our When it comes to our thoughts, our thoughts are to be holy. You see the guy with the, it's hard to see, he's holding a pencil, he's thinking. In our thoughts, we are to be holy. Philippians 4.8 says this, Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. What do you think about?

what do you dwell on what occupies your mind the scriptures urge us to occupy our minds with noble things with honorable things the things that are pure so how do we start to do that what do you think about what influences your mind. We're very visual culture, aren't we? Often our minds are focused on what we're looking at. Isn't that true? So we need to be careful what we look at sometimes. And we often have choices, don't we, in what we look at? Don't we? Probably one of the most visual stimuli we have, the most constant visual stimuli we have today is that little square instrument of you know who so often not always but often we probably need to turn it off more or at least be more selective in what we watch but you know every show that's coming out now not every many shows that are coming out your discretion Boy, they love to say that.

They love to say that.

Because they know that's going to get people to watch. You see how even on, I'm not talking just cable TV now, but just regular TV now, how the envelope's being pushed on everything.

Watch what goes into the mind. Watch what you think about. I think this is where Christian music can be so helpful. Because music can really be something that occupies our minds and helps us to focus on the right things. and scripture memory is so helpful, I think, in starting to reorient our thinking,

listening to good music. There's so many ways to influence our minds. The second area is our speech. I'm going to give you five things about our speech. As Christians, our speech should not contain coarse joking or obscenity.

don't tell the coarse jokes watch your language secondly let your yes be yes and your no be no we ought to be straightforward plain talking folks we say what we mean and we mean what we say you can count on what we say thirdly give gentle answers to people who are acting harshly toward you or who are angry with you a gentle answer turns away wrath. I don't know how many situations I've been in, particularly in my legal career, where I've seen different outcomes based on how somebody responded to a question. When somebody attacks us with a question, our general response is to attack back. And then things just get worse and worse. It's amazing how a situation can be so quickly diffused by taking a breath and giving a soft answer.

Don't let anger take off. Scripture works. A gentle answer turns away wrath.

Fourthly, God's name is holy.

Do not misuse it. and if you have control over others, you don't let them misuse it either. You've got control over your children, or you should have. You do not let them misuse God's name. If I were an employer, and I had control over my employees, they would not misuse God's name when they're on the job.

They can do what they want after work, but at work they would not misuse God's name. His name is holy. God went to the trouble out of ten commands to say in one of the ten, you don't misuse my name. Because to misuse his name is to dishonor him.

I love what Proverbs says. As words aptly spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver.

In other words, saying the right thing at the right time, in the right way, with the right tone, is just like a beautiful setting on the table. Think about how you talk. I have, because so often I have said the wrong thing at the wrong time, I will go back and I will analyze when I've been in a particularly in a difficult conversation and say Man Why did I say it that way couldn't I just put my pride aside and

Said it differently

And then next time having blown it I I try to do better. I think we have to begin to analyze how we respond with our words to people and start to say, how can I do it better next time and differently? How can I respond in the right way?

Our bodies.

Our bodies are not our own.

Do you hear me, Christians?

our bodies are not our own 1 Corinthians 6 19-20 do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have received from God you are not your own you were bought at a price therefore honor God with your body

we are temples of God's spirit

our bodies are not our own so we only use our bodies in ways that honor God

this deals with sexual relationships this deals with issues like abortion it's not your body it's God's

so we do with our bodies what God would want us to do Christians, I'm talking to Christians I mean it is the world's view that's not the case my body is my body I'll do with it whatever I want dare you not to tell me what I should do with my body God says if you're my child if you live under my lordship it's not yours, you gave it to me when you committed your life to me

bodies are to be used as instruments Romans says and his living sacrifices for Jesus Christ

you know sacrifice was given to God he says our bodies are living sacrifices every day we're living where he is given in his honor dress this is the last thing I'm going to say about our relationship to ourselves modest not ostentatious.

Let me make a point here when it comes to issues of dress. Let's don't ask minimalist questions. Let's don't ask minimalist questions. Minimalist questions are questions like this. Is this okay?

Is this long enough? does it squeeze by the line? Am I just on this side of the line? What kind of question is that for a Christian? Can I just squeeze by?

Let me suggest this is the kind of question you ask. Does this glorify God?

Does this honor Him? Does the way I dress tell the world Jesus is first in my life? As I said to my daughter Kate on more than one question, if you have to come ask me, is this okay, it's probably not.

If you have to ask me, is this long enough, it's probably not.

because I'm not interested in minimalist questions. I'm interested in the big question. Does this honor God? That's why Christianity moves away from, and Apostle Paul moves us away from, the legalism about how long it is and how, you know, is my hair the right length or whatever. That's not the question.

The question is, does this honor God? But we spend so much of our time, and we give so often our young people, I think, the impression, if you can just get over the line just a little bit, okay, that's not right. That's not the way we approach the Christian life. We want to live for him fully and completely and honor him.

I'm going to stop there.